A Blank Canvas

15-07-2011

Going through a harddisk I had laying around I found a piece of text that I wrote some time ago and for some reason I didn’t finish, but I like it as is (for now) so I’m putting it here. 

“A blank canvas. That’s what I would like to see everyone picture for their future, but it is just an illusion of someone too naïve to see the truth. We live in a society that doesn’t complain and what surrounds us is sort of imposed. Of course we all do what we want within the margins of what’s legal (more or less), but at some point what is legal and what is right is not always the same thing as the ones making the laws are also humans (never completely impartial/neutral) as the rest of us.

When I still didn’t know what I wanted to study for my own future I had several options. I could have submerged in the world of languages and translating which would probably have been the easiest choice. I could have taken on Law which is what most people recommended for me… but I chose computers. I was no genius at the subject but it was practical and gave a lot of options once I was done (not that I ever got that far xD ).

To my point… law would have been the right fit for me taking into account the way I am and my personality, but then again I thought I wanted to keep my health for a few more years. It might sound strange, but I reached the conclusion that if I studied that I would end up spending more time fighting against the system then working for it and I can’t quite see that as healthy for anybody.

I can’t picture free citizens when the policy of a country is made by and for politicians. I struggle to find it just that a man behind a desk can earn so much more than a man that works hard with his own hands for so many more hours. I don’t understand how the state can charge me for expenses I might not have and that someone else than me can chose to what author I give benefits. I don’t see how the money I’m paying for my pension goes to the elderly today and how taxes are just thrown into a common pot that exists for the ones in charge to deal out as they see fit.

It worries me that the state is allowed to take the citizens money and put it through the insecurities of the monetary market, such as the stock market. It bothers me that the solution to the crisis is giving money to the ones that already have money without ensuring that it actually is used to create and/or keep the jobs that people need and I don’t get how the government can take so long to pay out the financial help they’ve promised, even cancelling them in the aftermath in some cases, when the reason they were given was because they were deemed necessary. I also think that television should be more restricted when it comes to political propaganda because it is really hard to find any kind of “neutral” journalism nowadays…

I think drastic changes are crucial if we really want a healthy democracy and a relatively real freedom. I was about to write “the freedom we deserve” but it would be so wrong as the first step towards this has to be admitting that the current situation is what it is because we let it. The people must take responsibility and charge and start demanding that those in charge began working for them, and not the other way around as it has been until now.”

That’s what I’ve written so far. Maybe I’ll pick it up again another day. ^_^

You choose your future

28-10-2009

Ever woke up and realized that your nightmare is your reality and your dream was where you’d like to be? That’s a common daily issue for a lot of people. Me among them I suppose, just not all that dramatic. Not that I remember my dreams anyway. :P

What I really mean to say is that being somewhere while you’re longing for being somewhere else is truly discouraging. Few things drain your life energy like that.

Personally I think, as I do of most things, that a large responsibility to do something about it is ours. In my case it’s just a matter of time. It’s not like I can just step out of the routine without knowing where to head from there since every act has consequences and in our society economy has a large role in our lives, sorry to say. When the time is right, I will know. :)

I always pictured my life as some sort of puzzle. The pieces just arrive with no prior notice and always fit perfectly. That doesn’t mean I’m not responsible for moving forward to a greater tomorrow, but patience is required too. One step at the time. Being positive is a huge part of this. It’s very easy to feel sorry for yourself when things don’t seem to work out, but there’s always a brighter point of view if you’re willing to look for it.

Try to look for the opportunities in your every day. Heading towards a different future might mean you’ll have to risk a bit, that it won’t always be easy… but just the journey towards it is an experience that will remind you you’re alive. Just by that it’s worth it.

And by all means, don’t pay the problems you don’t have yet any mind. Enjoy your present because when you look back you’ll regret every day you’ve wasted on unnecessary worrying. ;)

Valhadria.

We all matter

10-09-2009

Today I actually got something specific I would like to share. That’s rather strange as usually my “wanting to write” normally comes along with “nothing to write about”, but not today, for some reason. This is something I’ve been thinking about for months but could never put it down in words how I wanted to. A movie I watched the other night and my past year and a half watching a virtual society grow and evolve to what it is today are probably responsible for these thoughts.

I guess the reason why I never get to explain this properly is because I always try to get down to the details of it first but I’ve started to think that’s not the proper approach. Straight to the point first and I’ll go from there.

Try to picture yourself in the middle of a war that you have seen coming. You witnessed how the first misunderstanding (or not) took place, you saw how the people, poorly represented, was drawn into a fight that was not their own due to lies being repeated so often they became the truth of that moment. Hate grows beyond limits despite having no real reason to exist and both sides are right and wrong at the same time.

The feeling when this timeline takes place is like you are looking at the top of a hill at wintertime, all completely white. Then you see someone, intentionally or not doesn’t matter, throwing a tiny little snowball downwards from the top. As you probably know, that ball will start growing and growing until it becomes a threat to everything it finds in its way.

Truth is that small actions, decisions, coincidences… things that seem unable to cause a bigger consequence than what their own size would predict might have a tremendous impact. You might be able to tell disaster from the very moment it is born but despite how much you try you don’t seem to be able to stop it. I don’t think we’re necessarily meant to, but we are responsible for the role we play as individuals anyway.

A principle most of us actually live by on a regular basis is something like: “little me don’t make a difference anyway, so why bother?” Well… I guess my point is, as so many have said already, that we do matter. But in my opinion it’s not that what we do always makes a difference, it’s the fact that if don’t try we always make sure we don’t.

I love the quote: “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” To me it means that despite having no guarantee of victory we are responsible for not guaranteeing defeat.

We might face a situation that’s bigger than us and feel we are insignificant to its outcome. Well, if we have decisions to make, if we have options… we are part of it too. Just as much as the number of coincidences and random decisions that had us where we are, a joint number of new decisions can be the difference between one result or another.

I might write a bit more about this sometime as there is so much more to it, but for now these were my thoughts for today.  ^_^

Valhadria.

"My Limit Is Me"

03-08-2009

Knowing how much I like to write, I guess that not starting a spot like this before is a bit strange. Honestly I think it never crossed my mind. Lately I’ve been wanting to write about stuff that only classifies as suitable for a personal notebooks or similar so I thought it might not be a bad idea.

The sites name was a bit of an improvisation, but it does have its meaning. While thinking (it is told to be quite a healthy habit every once in a while) about how to call it I couldn’t make up my mind. Actually… I had no idea. Pretty normal in me though… I usually get stuck when it comes to names, until the perfect one strikes me.

Considering present as a picture where friends (I grant myself the exclusive right to point out a few exceptions) are mostly passing by, where getting up in the morning isn’t always too tempting and the future is hard to imagine… the thought of knowing I can’t choose what surrounds me, but I do have a saying in what I do with it, came to me. My only limit is me, so I figured it might be a good idea to remind myself of that as often as possible. And it might also be a nice reminder for those who are so kind to pay me a visit here.

Valhadria.